I Didn't Know How to Widow - by Phyllis S Beal (Paperback)

Book Synopsis

I Didn't Know How to Widow: Walking Through Grief Fog is a raw and intimate novella and account of the author's first months of widowhood after the sudden loss of her husband, Cee. Blending journal, memoir, and storytelling, she captures the shock, disorientation, and quiet daily struggles of early grief, while finding moments of resilience through memory, faith, family, and dark humor. Honest and unflinching, this is a deeply human story of love, loss, and the slow, uncertain path toward healing.

Review Quotes

This is Stein Beal's raw, intimate account of the grief fog she was thrust into after the death of her beloved spouse. Whether the unprompted tears, the struggle with tasks her husband would have managed, the reflex to turn toward an empty chair and speak, or the stunned refrain that appears throughout the book, "I don't know how to widow," Stein Beal's experiences will resonate with anyone who has ever faced a sudden, life-altering loss.

-Megan A. Schikora, Author of A Woman in Pink

Phyllis Stein Beal has created an intimate and powerful daily account of the first year navigating life without her husband. She shows us how different states of emotion coexist by artfully weaving together very real human moments of sorrow, joy, frustration, faith and all in between.

-Becky Jensen, Poet, communications leader and former Emmy winning journalist.

In sharing her personal journey through the fog of grief, author Phyllis Stein Beal offers companionship and comfort to others on a similar path. With candid moments of heartbreak and dashes of humor, this memoir reminds us to not hold back expressing our affection to those we hold dear.

-Cynthia Birk Author of "Finding Lilacs"

Throughout her memoir, I Don't Know How to Widow, Phyllis Stein Beal takes readers on her daily journey coming to terms with the loss of her beloved Cee. This honest and guttural collection will make you cry but will also have you laughing aloud as you ride the rollercoaster of emotions with her. You'll feel her pain, anger, doubt, confusion and love. In the end, you'll join her in coming to terms with the new normal and understanding that friends, family and personal inner strength help you navigate the way.

- Dianna Stampfler, author and founder of Walloon Lake Writers Retreat

To accept a grieving process so completely is a rare gift. To share the vicissitudes is extraordinary. "I Didn't Know How to Widow" is a thoughtful compilation of days over a year's long process of learning "...to walk alone through life." Peace to you, Phyllis. And peace to the readers, who will at some point experience what you have shared.

-Stewert James, Adventurer, Artist, Poet, Writer; Petoskey, Michigan